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Writer's pictureKaidi Dey

Going to a wedding when in the first trimester

Updated: Aug 29, 2022

Mike's sister got married on September 24th, 2021. We had all been looking forward to the wedding for quite some time – it had been rescheduled because of the global viral panini. I don't know about y'all, but in my mind, weddings involve lots of drinking, dancing and debauchery. I was in no shape to do any of the above. At 13 weeks pregnant, every smell made me gag and my food consumption was limited to mostly crackers and ginger ale. I also started to get dizzy spells at this time and my bedtime shifted from 11-12pm to no later than 8pm. I wondered if the family would understand me "sitting out" the reception.


I actually started to get concerned about contracting COVID as well. Even though the venue was open air, this was the first time since early 2020 that we were around as many people, and I was vulnerable. The baby was vulnerable. My anxiety was through the roof. This was, however, a once in a lifetime event, so I decided to stop worrying so much and try to have as good of a time as possible.

Rehearsal dinner, 9/23/21. I felt like crap and wanted to go to bed.


The rehearsal dinner was lovely, and we were seated away from people we didn't really know or interact with much. Our table was just family. That eased my anxiety quite a bit. I did have to get up and pee a million times, but that came with the territory. The food made me want to gag, but I ate it anyway. I had some crackers in our hotel room before bed.


As for the wedding, Mike was in the wedding party, so I had to fend for myself before the ceremony. I'm a little socially awkward when I don't know anyone, and everyone I knew was in the wedding party, so naturally, I texted my favorite support person who lives in Massachusetts. She's a great friend who loves watching my soap-opera life unfold. I love her and I love texting her when I'm anxious.


An hour of intense texting later, the ceremony was about to begin and the groom's side of the family told me I'm sitting on the wrong side. Jokes on you, peeps, my husband told me to sit where I sat and that's where I sat. They were actually the ones on the wrong side. Not that it matters. There were some grumbles but it's all semantics. I, for sure, thought I sweat through my dress and had a giant sweat stain on my butt! It was hot, I was in a thong in a silk dress, and I was also starting to get "the hormone sweats." I didn't sweat through the dress thankfully.

The bathroom selfie I sent to my husband before the ceremony, asking if I look okay. 9/24/22


After the ceremony, everyone around me got sloshed. I wished I could partake, but alas, no. At one point, coming back from the bathroom, I got insanely dizzy and had to call Mike for help. Things got worse after the main course – we had opted for steak. I had asked for mine to be medium-well when we responded to the invitations. The steak I got was so raw it was bloody. Not knowing any better, I only had a little bit, but that little bit was too much and I'm not sure if my body just rejected it or I got food poisoned or the nausea just hit me real hard. I think there's a reason they tell pregnant women not to eat undercooked meat because about an hour after, I was up in my room puking my guts out. As much as I wished my husband had been there to hold my hair up, he stayed out drinking til about 4am, and I didn't want to ask anything of him since it was his sister's wedding. For the rest of my pregnancy, Mike didn't really drink at all.


I like to say the pregnancy was like a 9-month-long hangover for both of us, considering how much Mike drank that night. The wedding was a lovely affair, but if I could do it again, I'd make sure I wasn't pregnant, or at least not in the first trimester, as it was not a good experience at the slightest for me.


The highlight of the whole weekend was hearing my SIL's friends' recounts of giving birth and being pregnant. I was so happy to hear that other women disliked being pregnant too, and it wasn't just something I was experiencing. To be honest, I really hated being pregnant, but I feel like it wasn't socially acceptable to say that... until I had the lovely conversations with my SIL's friends. So there you have it. It's okay not to like being pregnant. And it's not great going to a wedding when you're pregnant.




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